Borowitz writes: "Boehner said that he may have to stay at work later in order to get his drinking done, but added, 'I'm doing it for the American people.'"
Satirist Andy Borowitz. (photo: Alan.com)
Citing Security Concerns, Boehner to Do All Drinking at Work
16 January 15
The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report." 
iting what he called “security concerns,” House Speaker John Boehner said on Wednesday that he would do all of his drinking at the office for the foreseeable future.
Boehner said that he may have to stay at work later in order to get his drinking done, but added, “I’m doing it for the American people. They need to know that their Speaker is safe.”
Calling the move “a temporary security measure taken out of an abundance of caution,” the Ohio Republican said that his decision to do all of his drinking at the office “should in no way be seen as a negative comment on the nation’s bartenders, who do fine work.”
“To the men and ladies who stand behind the bar, let me say, ‘I’ll be back,’ ” he said, choking up.
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